Testify: BAD BUDDHIST: I am the jerk at strip-mall yoga by Jenn Fields |

Leave a comment

February 24 by The Running Son

BAD BUDDHIST: I am the jerk at strip-mall yoga

Posted:   01/28/2013 05:14:32 PM MST
Updated:   01/28/2013 05:20:01 PM MST


My annual pilgrimage with my mom to a yoga class in my hometown over the holidays wasn’t coming together.

“Let’s try this place, it’ll be convenient, and I’ve been meaning to check it out,” said Mom, choosing a studio based on geography. The timing was right. The name of the studio had “vinyasa” in it. Good enough.

The studio was in a quiet new strip mall. Only a handful of people had showed up for class — not enough bodies to heat the chilly room. I shivered and waited for movement.

The instructor strode to the front. The young woman wore gypsy-ish yoga pants with big drapes of fabric over her feet. Across her forehead, a cloth headband declared “I (HEART) YOGA.” From under this headband (a Christmas present from a loving, but wacky aunt?), she spoke in calmer-than-thou yoga tones as she asked us to meditate.

When we started moving, nothing was familiar. At one point, when she had us crawling without our knees touching the mat (think about that), I caught my mom’s eye.

Her look said what I was thinking: “Bu-whaaa?”

I tried to follow the teacher, but her instructions were confusing. “Bend to the floor.” Bend at the waist? Knees? I would look up to see what she was doing, and it was never what I expected. OK, she’s squatting, um, twisting, no wait, circling…


While crawling or something, I created my own irritated narrative for how this “yoga” teacher came to be: A former ballet dancer from the suburbs who read one of the Dalai Lama’s books after meeting a Democrat in college.

Internally, I screamed at her headband: If you love yoga so much, why don’t we do some now?

After class, Mom shrugged her shoulders. “It was strip-mall yoga.”

I calmed down, asked myself to try to learn something here, and not to be a jerk. Even though I want one of those headbands now.

Upon returning to Boulder, I went to one of my favorite classes. The teacher worked us toward a peak pose I’ve tried before but never came close to touching. But this time I was determined, inspired to defy the lameness of that strip-mall yoga place. I twisted my right foot onto my right tricep, leaned onto my hands and found balance in this ridiculous contortion.

Thanks, strip-mall lady. I heart yoga, too.

— Jenn Fields

♫ Talk to Jim...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

RFB editor Jim Aldrich, Joshua Tree CA 2013

RunningSon aka Jim Aldrich, Joshua Tree CA 2013 | This site is dedicated with the deepest gratitude to Dr. Cláudio Naranjo, whose writings gave me life.

  • 356,566 souls hit the RFB

Click to Follow the RFB!

Join 1,034 other followers

Recent Posts…

Some RFB Followers…

Flag Counter
DoubleU = W


UP!::urban po'E.Tree(s)

by po'E.T. and the colors of pi

The shadows of a dream

Words walking the tightrope from functionality to versification.


spice up your life vanilla style


A topnotch WordPress.com site


thoughts from my mind to yours

A Mirror Obscura,

Poetry, musings and sightings from where the country changes


Poetic Landscapes Of The Spirit


Ein schöner Tag - wenn er zu Ende geht, ist nichts mehr, wie es war...


Im here to expose true talent

phillymanjim's Blog

Poetry, Musings, Photographs

Blog It Or Lose It

Paloma's Pen

The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

Here and now, with all of it.

James Radcliffe

Thoughts on Writing, Art, and Life

Tania Marie

Creating Life As A Work Of Art With A Magick Rabbit By My Side

Sean B

Nomadic & transient tales


Simple Living

Papermashed (Discontinued Blog of Eva Acharya)

A place for me to share my ideas, triumphs, and failing moments in pursuit of publishing.

Smuggling Bay

About expression

leather green gargoyle

what I hear, what I read, what I write

Gray Poet

Just a place to express my poems.

HA's Place

of organic poems, multifarious prose, rambunctious ramblings, and queer dreams


The greatest WordPress.com site in all the land!

Notes on a Spanish Valley

Award-winning blog - Living in rural Andalucia

Wendy L. Macdonald

My faith is not shallow because I've been rescued from the deep.


Women's Issues, Peace, Creativity & Spirituality


My muse's quiet amusement

Poemotherapi Shoppe

"Oh How Art Thou Love Of Poetry"



I didn't have my glasses on....

A trip through life with fingers crossed and eternal optimism.

∙ tenderheartmusings ∙

we were born naked onto the page of existence; with nothing but the pen of our soul to write ourselves into eternal ecstasy ~ DreamingBear Baraka Kanaan

Traces of the Soul

Whispering insights of this, that, then and there

"we'll never be royals."

Small artists with big potential and lots of cliché.


A Long Distance Relationship Blog. Join the FB Page: https://www.facebook.com/theLDRdiaries13

David Emeron: Sonnets

If I swore not to describe my heart, would it stop beating forever?


Exploring Northern Himalayas

Simple Pleasures

Visual Poetry, Photography and Quotes

Of Distant Places

How it feels like feeling home to a person who lives 8,000 miles away

Manang Bok's House

Atrocities are sometimes nothing less than the vengeance of the tormented. (Louis de Bernieres)

going the distance for love blog

Life in a long distance relationship


My heart, mind and soul...transcribed!

Don Charisma

because anything is possible with Charisma

%d bloggers like this: