A “sober” reflection on my manic experience

4

May 5 by The Running Son

cvbcvb

..and I have to to begin this now. figure it out as I go. I closed my door as I have done for these past several days, because crying is common during writing poems, and remembering, everything. So my cats don’t mind, and enough generous readers dont mind either. I’d like to share my refection on the event, over a few posts. Event Ha!

Sober means sober-minded. A biblical type term I don’t think we use much, but I like it and it means I am thinking clearly, OK. Got years in AA. For other things though. Drinking don’t agree with me and I liked smoking pot. What can I say? AA for a weed habit? I just liked the people. Anyway, I’m here now.

I’m here on the heals of the most powerful manic I have had. And different, like the “Seltzer of the Mind” kind to quote Wain Jordan (also a poet, did I mention?). But a different kind this time. Not the angry, mad-dog rip your hat off kind of “you wouldn’t like me when I’m angry” kind of HULK YOU!!

Yuk. This one was different. Exhilarating at first. Pure energy and ideas. and the will to try to surmount the problems I had. Like my messy room. My ailing dad. And my blog identity issue that I talked about. Like what’s happening? Are you a poet or an artist or a librarian? Or what? I don’t know, but it feels kind of cold and squirrelly in there. Hehe yep. So I was gonna fix that, and write some mean-ass poetry. If it was REALLY “mean”– like “mean to the extreme, baby!”. So mean, then I would maybe begin a new blog.

But I had other sticky issues going on. Shower, Jim. You’re sticky. And brush your teeth while you’re at it. And don’t forget the cat’s and your large-eyed dog, Buster the dog, or to wash clean underwear. Since my room is a hoarders paradise since I broke up with Di, I got serious cleaning to do. Cant live a bi-life on the computer working out your salvation in rhymes and a past lives artwork.

But between needing friends and feeling so alone, and my bi-polar disorder making me feel like a label in some DSM manual of facts about all things brain-broken (<—cynicism, sorry) ahem… I was in a very “unique place”. Like a weird energetic ability to make good on all the polar opposites in my life, beginning with a poem, The Union of Opposites, which I just received constructive criticism on. Didn’t take it well. Whew. O man.

I shot back a curt, and mean (in the normal sense mean) email which I will not grace you with, but was curt, and mean, and it took til now to see that. Damn.

Anyways, I decided to do a small, SOBER (do I need to explain?) series of these before the purity of my memory makes it difficult.

What I really want to do, is have this, and all those posts, and have it available as a chronicle of what happens when a bad manic happens and you’re off medication, like me, or on… of course. Either way, if anyone else has had this “experience” of wild creativity, and the sense of bonds, or restrictions to social connection and creative talent being lifted, and clarity of thinking.. at times, whatever. If I could think of 10 words to describe some of the experiences I had, sober, and HOPE other people have had too, in that manic episodic head-pounding do-it all phase, there would be 10,000 words I would mourn the loss of. Some of them are UN-explainable, as I hope other Bi-polar sufferers also know, and understand that I know too. Not alone, truely.

Enuf bi-ramblin on. Desert boy have to use his sense of timing and sober-minded good grace to not make this post 10,000 words long.

Didn’t cry. cool. Opening my door, the cats want out.

~jim

Love you guys.

PS: Speaking of timing, I got worlds of bad words for the idea of blog queues. and the way things get forgotten in time. Anyway, smart people publish at certain times.

Other people ask the smart people. Anyone? I donno, There are too many timezones.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “A “sober” reflection on my manic experience

  1. 1WriteWay says:

    I’ve never been manic, meaning in a manic phase as you described. I’m more prone to depression, to lethargy, so the other extreme scares me a bit (as you know). I do so respect and enjoy your introspection, which may serve you better than any medication, although it’s probably more painful 😉

    • The medication issue is pretty much solved. I’m in the desert with no resources. No medication. Soooo I will write and draw. have a huge commission, 3 drawings I want to publish as work-in-progresses. It will be cool.

  2. Geo Sans says:

    my most

    powerful manic time

    was also

    my most peaceful

    ~

    so

    so

    unpredictable

♫ Talk to Jim...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

RFB editor Jim Aldrich, Joshua Tree CA 2013

RunningSon aka Jim Aldrich, Joshua Tree CA 2013 | This site is dedicated with the deepest gratitude to Dr. Cláudio Naranjo, whose writings gave me life.

  • 201,906 souls hit the RFB

Click to Follow the RFB!

Join 1,019 other followers

Recent Posts…

Some RFB Followers…

Flag Counter
DoubleU = W

WITHIN ARE PIECES OF ME

via GiantGag.com

Killing time just got a lot funnier !

UP!::urban po'E.Tree(s)

by po'E.T. and the colors of pi

The shadows of a dream

Words walking the tightrope from functionality to versification.

Petals Unfolding

~Authentically Creating My Life According To Me~

A 7 letter word.

I am my Name.

galaktikapoetikeatunis

A topnotch WordPress.com site

forgottenmeadows

thoughts from my mind to yours

A Mirror Obscura,

Poetry, musings and sightings from where the country changes

annamosca

Poetic Landscapes Of The Spirit

Bilder

Ein schöner Tag - wenn er zu Ende geht, ist nichts mehr, wie es war...

realtalented

Im here to expose true talent

phillymanjim's Blog

Poetry, Musings, Photographs

Never Quite Broken

What you did not build up, you cannot tear down.

Blog It Or Lose It

Paloma's Pen

Eli Glasman

Site of author Eli Glasman

The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

Here and now, with all of it.

JamesRadcliffe.com

James Radcliffe, Musician. Music, Blog, Pictures, Live, News...

Tania Marie's Blog

Creating Life as a Work of Art

seanbidd.wordpress.com/

Nomadic & transient tales from a boutique photographer, writer and multimedia creative.

belsbror

Simple Living

Papermashed

Small ideas on paper, large enough for the minds.

leather green gargoyle

what I hear, what I read, what I write

Gray Poet

Just a place to express my poems.

HA's Place

musings of a self-proclaimed weirdo

sharkouni

The greatest WordPress.com site in all the land!

Mr.Sahrul Santri

SaSatorial_SahrulSantriTutorial

Notes on a Spanish Valley

Award-winning blog - Living in rural Andalucia

Wendy L. Macdonald

My faith is not shallow because I've been rescued from the deep.

idealisticrebel

Women's Issues, Peace, Creativity & Spirituality

intotheindigo

My muse's quiet amusement

The Bully Pulpit

(n): An office or position that provides its occupant with an outstanding opportunity to speak out on any issue.

Poemotherapi Shoppe

"Oh How Art Thou Love Of Poetry"

hammerwerk

light_and_shadow

I didn't have my glasses on....

A trip through life with fingers crossed and eternal optimism.

∙ tenderheartmusings ∙

we were born naked onto the page of existence; with nothing but the pen of our soul to write ourselves into eternal ecstasy ~ DreamingBear Baraka Kanaan

Traces of the Soul

Whispering insights of this, that, then and there

"we'll never be royals."

Small artists with big potential and lots of cliché.

a3maal اعمال

www.a3maal.me

awomansaved

Writngs of a saved woman

poems

FROM THE WOLF'S MOUTH >> PAMELA LANGEVIN

ldr13

A Long Distance Relationship Blog. Join the FB Page: https://www.facebook.com/theLDRdiaries13

%d bloggers like this: