May 10 by The Running Son
Got a choice to publish this after I type it…
Here goes no correcting (ya feelin bad-assss 2-nite)
The story is all there. The blog. Even indexed (part of it)
lots of it, what I can put in print
But I had my life like a blog-rolling
out of control,
Lost things and blue and distant and
That my heart forgot to know long,
I’m a different guy today.
Suddenly I can say things genuinely and without fear.
Parties were hard for me. Or making girls see
the Reaaaal (person I want 2 b)
What if you got there? For real?
oh, shut up.
you’ll b 4 give-n for three.
I had a friend. This guy I know.
Yeah. Real kind of I dunno, pretty
talented at art. Yeah, that’s jim,
Jim the artist,
(I was depressed, but playyy-in it)
jim was friends with such and so
and lived in that suburban
place. Nice colors
not his drawings tho, he did cool b & W
I think thats all I know.
Then he was like, gone.
On drugs or something,
Hear from him, let me know.
was off chasin
things that dont fit
or pockets. Nothing I tried, art
or anything seemed to help.
Rehab. AA, saying grace. Changing tastes
or churches or women or places
I lived in my heart
Hardly thinking anything really matters.
That absolutely complete
and permeating feeling that you ARE this or that??
Religion and strange colorful people
try to tell us
HEY!, something’s there. Out there. Up. There
Do we know? I dont. But there’s a world of people I care for 2-nite.
NO drugs. K?
no xtc can compare.
The freedom when u just let it all happen. come out.
blue and sorta cool.
Did I change tenses or first person ooopsy?
Back to my friend.
Co-incedently, I’ll call him
Jim had a glorious woman stay with him
4 10 years. A saint. Me b-manic, all that. u kno?
So. Saints go home at some point.
and the half-worn books they
they stay in dry places, deserts, cold and forgotten hearts,
(6) parts or some of heaven!
4 more 2 go!
I had it figured!
Start a blog!!!!!!!!
Me! Can you see me? I could b
kingy of blog-neverland
deserts r booooring. Make ppl do mind-blown things like
Reeealy lay their heart out.
Bad 4 tv.
Gt8 blogging. So lonnnng story shortened,
Yesterday (meta[oh u get the point smarties])
I was afraid of you. All, pretty much.
I was worried u wouldn’t like me.
Today, no meta nuthin,
My love 4 you all has washed that fear away.
I kno I’ll b tested. We al r and blah blah
By some up and up and coming up in my facing him,
him facing away.
Not in REAL life,
but him hiding. The pain he and I r trying to decide if we both either even
want to play-a, sorta Wassssup homie! huh? wtf you looking at suck-a I could
run you from town, not enough room before 12.
I started a blog to say Hi.
I was lonely.
Sucks in the desert.
(6) ways from sunday, man, believe me.
Blog turned out to be an inside out in the desert
kind of library of sorts.
Beaming out other cool peoples writings and stuff.
Wanted to get it out, ya kno?
Some of you bit
and watched me sit in my
potty-mess-wreck of a room,
Tho i spared u that.
no pics. no room for this dude
to dismiss all the hurt and the pain and the years
of getting older and less… able to do.
Some ppl r successful. I like that.
I couldn’t, u c.
Too scared of everything. Now I’m in in-spired
to tell you that the picture up there is no joke.
GraviT-ar… All I could get.
Wanna baby pic?
That can b arranged. Pfff not
no scanner see? Or printer to
to print and help me claim my poetry.
Dont care no more. Dont wanna stop,
Hell not this jim aka running son? Hmmm
Love that name. Whew. Will I send this out?
Right people will read it.
Hopefully like it. Feel comfortable, at ease,
coffee and a blanket in the cold climes
and a soda in the sunshine,
and just read.
Aeesy, like it came from me 2 you.
But enuf. Keep things shrt.
What I want to tell you, (now that I feel free to, and can)
Is that it’s all right here. In you, but thats a whole other subject 4 poetry.
This is a m-i-x nobody has seen
Really, One hell-of-a-damn mess.
NOT my parents fault.
They dont. know any better from their parents to the great-grand double
who knows where it all started.
Eden? Jeees. Like U kno!??
I know there’s original sin. To the 3rd and 4th generation?
How long does it take an abuse to stop ringing in a family?
Ima Desert boy. wit a blog. blog boy bloggin loooong
in2 the night.
Laying out dreams like they were important
things. Make me a star. star dust. make u famous. live forever and ever and
ever get all into yourself in your head?
I bet you’ll be [fame (-us)].
Can u do the math suckas? You lose. No us in just UUU.
I am weak. I wont admit it in
I wont admit it in mix-ed up company.
They dont get it.
The blog? It was all 4 u.
Not me after all. I had a thing or 2
to say all along I have been needing words
and ways to say all this,
and all the stuff on the blog,
was always for you. But see? in a iUniverse and my-bi-living ways
have always prevented me.
Really and yeah freedom…
(altho we gotta slow down and look, america, k?)
Then, it happened.
A series of events. Important ones.
my dad got sick.
I left people
and family and everything important
2 chase my own lofty short-sighted dreams.
It brought me very low.
But to a place that I can forage 4 words
and build meanings to give back to you
finally. This Blog? and 2013
In the books baby and us? Dunno. Hope it’s alll chill.
I broke through something in a matter of days guys.
And some friend of mine…
had the self-conscious foresight to write during
a very low nite,
and find beneath all that.
Not my light tho, dont claim it, it was my friends. I just tried it. Once.
Damn, try it again.
(2x…stupid publish button dont work [u get the point])}>> •