July 7 by The Running Son
top 3 regrets at this moment:
1. I acted in raw unmasked cruelty toward the person I love the most on earth.
2. I dishonored my Father and Mother.
3. I wasted the whole of my adult life rejecting people and talent, behind my own self-made fear.
top 3 gratitudes at this moment:
1. the person i hurt the worst, forgave me, and loves me freely. I believe she has forgiven and loves me.
2. my parents are still alive. I still have breath and time to do right.
3. I have enough love in me to embrace hate.
In the interest of being raw, in a “life blogger” spirit, I am willing myself to publish another non-poem.
Not natural for me. Wanting to express is self-evident to you followers, i would hope, but i am grateful for the desire to be genuine in that expression in my poetry, meaning, wanting to use the words of a poem as a tool, in any way possible, to accurately (and with a pinch of style) reflect my ongoing internal experience.
A prototype example of narcissism.
pfff, like, I am that important? I find Life-blogging, and the genuine search for self and it’s expression, share a natural tension. Ahh, what to do.
I decided to feel like WordPress’s biggest narcissist and try this again.
I already have posted ‘life’ on this blog. That type of writing feels as strange as anything (at times, desired…i realize today). Poems offer me safety and a way to obscure the straight picture of my experience. They protect. But for poetic (and actual) sanity’s sake, I can not afford to hide all the time.
So, there you go. And that number 1 regret, and the #1 gratitude I listed above? The “she” behind those entries survived the dark night of the soul for me, as literally as you can imagine. Then she came back to me. She is starlight, period.
love you guys.
.namaste. -• ö.tH(ink)Mÿstiç •- .namaste.